Hi all, welcome to my blog! I am excited to share my first blog post – a summary of my Catalina Channel swim. First, I wanted to provide some background on why I decided to set up this blog. I wanted to document my swims, so that I have a written record for personal use that I can look back and reflect on. I also wanted to share my experiences for those who are interested or may be aspiring to complete these swims, themselves! Finally, I want to share just exactly why my Catalina Channel swim was so incredibly meaningful to me. I have wanted to do this swim for over 10 years. I started open water swimming in 2008, in the lakes in Austin when I was a student at the University of Texas. My mom (also an open water swimmer) would venture down from Dallas to visit me, and we would compete in local races together. I started competing in ocean races when I would go out to San Diego to visit my grandma during the summer. When I was a Senior in college in 2011, Katy Dooley (my friend and teammate on the Longhorn Aquatics Masters team) was training to swim the Catalina Channel. I would join her for her training swims in Barton Springs and Lake Travis. I also read “Swimming to Antarctica” by Lynne Cox. The seed was planted that I eventually would swim the Catalina Channel – but it seemed like such an unattainable goal at the time.

I moved to San Diego in 2011 and started training in the ocean regularly. I swam my first (unofficial) marathon distance swim that winter, with my friend Tom Hecker, who was training for the Cook Strait at the time. Over the next few years I completed a Mainland to Catalina Island relay, Santa Cruz Island to Mainland relay, the Semana Nautica 6 mile race, and additional unofficial marathon distance swims with my pod. The prospect of a solo Catalina attempt still seemed overwhelming as a young professional trying to establish my career and personal life, and I wasn’t ready to commit to that level of training. Things took a very challenging turn in 2017 when my mental health suffered. From 2017 – 2019, I wasn’t swimming regularly. I suffered from multiple bouts of severe clinical depression. I didn’t even identify as a swimmer anymore – in fact I totally lost my sense of self. I took 2 leaves of absence from work between 2018 and 2019 to seek mental health treatment, and I recovered. My mom and I went on a Swim Trek trip in Greece in September 2019 and I rediscovered my love of swimming.

In Spring of 2020 when the beaches re-opened for active use after the initial pandemic shut-down, my friends Kat, Jaki, and I started swimming together. We kept each other going during that incredibly uncertain time and made an end of summer goal to swim a marathon-distance swim (7 miles from Swami’s to North Torrey Pines beach). My first marathon-distance swim in 6-7 years. It was so successful and exhilarating that we planned a second long swim, 7 miles from North Torrey Pines beach to La Jolla Cove. I was hooked again, and I felt that same motivation and sense of self that I had felt years before when I first started ocean swimming. Kat moved to France, the pandemic raged on, and Jaki and I kept swimming. Team Dumpster Fire (our clever moniker reflective of the general state of the world) was born, and we decided to train for Anacapa in 2021. In the back of my mind I entertained the idea that if Anacapa went well, I would train for Catalina in 2022. I swam from Anacapa to Oxnard on September 11, 2021 in 6:32:31; and Jaki on September 13, 2021 in 5:55:21. Without any hesitation I started anticipating my Catalina channel crossing. I was ready to commit to training for the swim that I had dreamed of for so long.

Now onto the main focus of this blog – THE SWIM! I was in pretty good shape from having done Anacapa in September, so I reduced my training volume for about 6 months, and then starting ramping things back up in March. For the most part, I did 6 swims per week (5 ocean swims, 1 masters workout, one day per week with a double workout), 1 strength training workout, and 1 rest day per week (or two if I was just feeling really tired). I don’t have an open water coach; rather I pieced my training plan together from what worked well for Anacapa, talking to friends who have successfully completed the swim, and reading the MSF forum. I gradually increased my “long swims” from 2-3 hours in late March/early April, up to my highest volume training month in June. I did two back-to-back 6 hour training swims two days in a row mid-month; and an 8 hour training swim at the end of the month (from 4a-12p in La Jolla, supported by Dan Swimonelli and Tom Hecker on kayak in 4 hour shifts). My last “long swim” was Around Coronado (once again, with Dan and Tom) on July 17, and then it was taper time. Other than a mild COVID infection at the end of May which set me back a week, and some muscular discomfort from overuse in mid-June (which was fortunately fixed with PT and massage) – my training went smoothly and according to plan. I felt incredibly prepared, confident, and excited for my swim.

My swim date was July 27 on The Bottom Scratcher (per recommendations from friends who have completed the swim!), so I rented an Airbnb in the Alamitos Beach neighborhood in Long Beach as home base from July 25 – July 28. I wanted to be able to fully rest and relax the day before and after without worrying about travel. My partner Rick, my mom Paula (Dumpster Fire Crew Chief), and I drove up to Rancho Palos Verdes to scope out the approximate ending point on the swim before on Monday July 25, before checking into our Airbnb. We had lunch at Terranea Resort, and then I did a quick test swim at Terranea Beach. I could feel the energy in water, it was incredibly exhilarating. The water was calm, clear, and warm (at least upper 60’s)! I don’t mind swimming in colder water, although this was a nice surprise as the Catalina Channel is known to have an upwelling near shore which can be challenging when you are fatigued towards the end of your swim. We went and checked out the location of The Bottom Scratcher at the 22nd Street Landing on our way to our Airbnb, checked in, prepared dinner, and called it a night!

The next day I slept in as late as possible (although it was hard given my excitement!) went to get a coffee at Wood Coffee (a cute vegan, queer-owned coffee shop in Rose Park, 10/10 recommend) and then CHILLED HARD the rest of the day. I am not a big napper, but I was at least able to lay down and rest for a significant portion of the day. Around lunch time, more friends arrived from San Diego. Jaki and Michella (support swimmers and just general support!) and Megan (CCSF observer). We packed up all of my swim gear, relaxed some more, and at THE LAST SUPPER! My preferred pre-swim meal is something rich in protein and complex carbs and easy to digest – teriyaki tofu, mashed sweet potatoes, and steamed spinach. I ate this same exact meal before Anacapa. I swear by it. I also had some cake – because Michella brought a cake – and cake is life.

We headed to 22nd Street Landing to board The Bottom Scratcher around 7pm and met the rest of the crew there: Tom Cook(friend/support swimmer), Barb and Linda (kayakers), and Roxy (second CSSF observer), as well as the Bottom Scratcher Crew. I was very impressed by Capt. Kevin’s calm, professional demeanor. I truly had the A-Team! Another swimmer, Will, was swimming with the Pacific Star that evening and I met him on the dock prior to boarding our pilot boats. He was with his friend Andrew, who would be swimming 2 days later. Dan was already scheduled to kayak for Will when I reached out to him about my swim, so although he wasn’t on my crew I was so happy to see him before our pilot boats departed and get a big hug for good luck. It felt like a good omen that we would be sharing the water.

We brought all of our gear on board, went through safety procedures and CCSF rules, and then it was time to depart to Catalina Island around 8pm! I spent a few minutes out on the deck to enjoy the water at dusk, and then went to lay down in my bunk. It was a little bumpy on the way over. I was worried I would get seasick (as I get seasick very easily) or that I would have rough conditions for my swim. I got SUPER sick during my Anacapa swim last year, as the conditions were God-awful. I was not-so-secretly hoping for glassy, perfect conditions this time (although I was prepared for whatever the ocean had in store). Fortunately, Bonine and Sea Bands did their job this time and I didn’t get sick on the ride over! I was too excited/nervous to sleep, and the 2 hour boat ride to Catalina felt like it took at least twice as long. Eventually the engine was quiet and we appeared to stop moving, so I peeked out of my bunk. We were at Doctor’s Cove.

It was time to get ready. I put my suit, cap, and goggles on, had Jaki help me cover my body head to toe in zinc (Badger sport SPF 40 mineral sunscreen is my favorite and stayed in place during my whole swim; I didn’t get sunburned at all, although I practically have to use a whole tube of it for a long swim). It was 11pm, and then it was time to swim! It wasn’t as dark as I was expecting as there was a building at Doctor’s Cove with a few lights, and lights on the boat and kayak. I slowly entered the water via the ladder on the back of the boat. The water was calm and warm. Yes! I swam to shore and cleared the shore line. I raised my hand to indicate that I had stepped on to dry land. I took a look around, took a deep breath, and took in the moment. I lowered my hand to indicate that I was re-entering the water to start my swim. I started swimming. The reality set in that I was now swimming the Catalina Channel. It was beautiful and surreal.

It usually takes me about 60-90 minutes to get warmed up and settled into my pace during a long swim, but I was feeling pretty good within 30-60 minutes which I believe was due to the adrenaline. I will admit, I was a little nervous swimming for 6+ hours in the dark. Not because I dislike swimming in the dark (in fact I do enjoy it), but because I was venturing into unknown territory. The longest I had swam in the dark prior to this was about 4 hours during Around Coronado. The Catalina Channel is darker than coastal night swimming due to the lack of city lights, which can supposedly been disorienting as some swimmers can’t visually distinguish the difference between the water and the night sky – it’s all just black. I hadn’t been in the channel at night for about 10 years (since my prior Catalina relay) but fortunately I didn’t have this experience. I could faintly tell the difference between the water and the night sky. I also had the lights on the kayak and boat, as well as some bioluminescent jelly-like creatures.

The first two hours went by smoothly and comfortably. I even think some dolphins may have swam under me around hour 2 – but my mind could have also just been playing tricks on me). Hours 3 and 4 started to wear on me a bit and I was looking forward to sunrise. I breathe bilaterally, so constantly having to refocus my vision on the lights of the kayak to my right, dark ocean below, and lights on the boat to the left was a bit aggravating, but manageable. Tom swam with me for an hour around hour 4, and Barb and Linda switched out kayak shifts at this time. Knowing I had successfully completed 4 hours in the dark and only had ~2 hours to go until it started getting lighter was a huge motivator. Around 5am, we started to get some glow from the city lights as we got closer to mainland, and the sun rose shortly thereafter. I was starting to feel a little fatigued from sleep deprivation (although I was feeling good physically) and had coffee with 2 of my feeds around 6:00am and 6:30am. I had made it through the night, I was feeling strong mentally and physically, I was warm, and caffeinated. It was glorious. Michella got in to swim with me for an hour around that time, and some dolphins greeted the crew (although I didn’t see them).

Hours 7-10 (6am-9am) were pretty uneventful. I was just in “go” mode. When Linda and Barb switched out again at hour 8 (~7am) I knew we were about to get into the juicy, interesting part of the swim. Once again, unknown territory, as my longest swim to-date had been my 8 hour training swim the prior month. Time to fuck around and find out (that is my mantra for marathon swimming). Hours 9- 10 weren’t really that different from hours 7-8 to be honest. I started losing track of time, which wasn’t a bad thing. I was in a steady rhythm, maintain my usual pace and stroke count, and feeling strong, although a little tired as expected. But I was warm, nothing acutely hurt, and I was good! It was wonderful to have my crew cheering for me on my feeds. Rick had a big photo of our pets (Melissa and Blufus the rabbits, and Sunny the conure) to hold up when I feel to keep me motivated. I also have an Against Me! (my favorite band) flag I hang from the boat to help cue me to sing myself my favorite songs to keep my mind occupied while I am swimming. “The Ocean”, “Bamboo Bones,” and “Black Me Out” were key tracks for this swim. Jaki also got in to swim with me around hour 9 which gave us the opportunity to talk shit in the ocean (our favorite thing to do) during my feeds.

I will say that hours 11-12 (10am-11am) was the most challenging part of the swim. They tell you not to look at the mainland, because you can swim for hours and visually it doesn’t look like you are getting any closer. What they DON’T tell you is how hard it is NOT to look at the mainland when you stop for your feeds. It’s like right IN YOUR FACE. So, for about 2 hours I was swimming and swimming and swimming and kinda psyching myself out worrying that I wasn’t making any progress (although everyone assured me I was). Then, Barb and Linda switched out kayaks again. I knew 12 hours had elapsed since they were operating in 4 hour shifts. I was hoping to finish in about 12 hours, and the shore didn’t appear to be getting closer. I wasn’t at the point where I was questioning if I was going to finish (that was never an option), although I was getting tired and a little discouraged. “Shit!” I muttered under my breath (the first negative thing I had verbalized during the whole swim). At the next feed, my crew asked me if I wanted another support swimmer. I answered simply, “MICHELLA!”. Michella and I can swim stroke-for-stroke for hours and I knew that was just what I needed. My mom told me I was ALMOST there (although I was skeptical about that) and Michella got ready to jump in and swim with me. Linda assured me we were in the home stretch. Having a friend in the water with me gave me new life and I picked up the pace. At that moment I wasn’t 12 hours into a channel swim – I was just swimming with Michella as we had done so many times before. The narrative in my mind changed. It was time to swim to shore!

 For the last hour or so of my swim, I broke through all barriers of physical and mental discomfort into a realm of swimming that I had never experienced before. It was almost euphoric. “Black Me Out” by Against Me! was on repeat in my head, and I was on autopilot. “Full body high, I’m never coming down”. Two silly visualizations also helped motivate me right at the end:

1. Brett Kavanaugh is waiting for me on shore and give him a swift kick in the crotch as I emerge from the ocean

2. Laura Jane Grace is waiting for me on shore with a private concert and Sidecar donuts

So there I am, swimming and daydreaming away, and Linda stops to offer me my final feed. I look up and can see the beach. I politely decline, put my head down, and keep swimming. Almost there. The water becomes shallow and I can start to see the bottom. Jaki, Michella, Tom, and Rick get in the water behind me to swim me in to shore. Linda points me to our landing point to the left, a sandy spot on the beach in Smuggler’s Cove. I start swimming to the right towards the rocks, in the totally opposite direction. She redirects me and I head the right way. The water is very shallow. The beach is right in front of me. I stand. I walk away from the shoreline. I am on dry land. My friends join me on shore. The Bottom Scratcher sounds it’s horns indicating that I have completed my swim. I swam the Catalina Channel. We all embrace, ask a very confused beachgoer to take a photo of us and text it to Michella, and take in the moment. We swim back to the boat.

I must admit I was surprised by how functional I was when I got back on the boat. My mom had my dry clothes and parka, coffee, and recovery shake ready to go. I wasn’t cold, but I bundled up to prevent the “after-drop” (which I fortunately didn’t experience). The water was 70-71 degrees most of the time and only dropped to 68-69 at the end. I was comfortable and prepared to swim in colder water but the channel God’s were forgiving. Furthermore, the ocean was flat and glassy for the majority of my swim right up until the end. We had a pleasant ride back to the harbor. Dan was even there on the Pacific Star to greet and congratulate me upon returning to the harbor! We loaded the car up and then made our way back to the Airbnb for Milk Bar cake and non-alcoholic champagne. It was time to take the most rewarding bath and nap of my life!

My swim was incredibly challenging, the hardest thing I have ever done, but in terms of conditions and logistics it could not have gone more smoothly. I am so grateful to my family, friends, and crew who made this possible. Especially my Dumpster Fire Crew Chief, my mom, who is literally my biggest fan. She sent me handwritten notes with motivational quotes every day for a month leading up to the swim. She probably only slept 30 minutes during the whole time on boat; was intently focused on me swimming for hours on end, counting my stroke rate, and ensuring everything was going smoothly amongst the crew. I am so lucky to have her support and unconditional love, and that we share our mutual love of ocean swimming. I must also recognize Rick who supports my swimming ventures on a daily basis and puts up with my wacky schedule, with all of the hard hours of training I put in. And of course, all of my friends who train with me on a daily basis and meet up to swim with me on various chunks of my long swims.

Furthermore, I am incredibly grateful to everyone who donated in support of my swim. I usually swim in the ocean as an act of escapism. To leave all of the troubles that lie onshore behind, and submerge in a different world. This swim was in efforts to make the world onshore a better place. I dedicated this swim to reproductive rights for all, and started a fundraiser for The National Network of Abortion Funds. It really took off and I raised over $2600. I carry a significant amount of existential dread with me on a daily basis, and the fact that together we made a difference helps alleviate some of that dread. I also made new friends – Abby and Kerianne – in the process, who also happened to be raising money for The National Network of Abortion Funds for their recent marathon swims (Lake Tahoe Vikingsholm route and Double Around Coronado, respectively). Our swims made a difference. Our swims mattered.

I am still reflecting on and processing this swim a week later (and probably will be for a while). The fact that I have accomplished not only a 10+ year in the making goal, but done so after overcoming multiple challenges with my mental health, is truly an indescribable feeling. Reflecting back on everything that has happened over the last several years, I am proud of the fact that took the time and effort in 2018-2019 to invest in myself and my mental health. Had I attempted this swim at a different stage in my life, I am not sure I would have had the mental fortitude to complete this swim successfully. What I learned in therapy over the years has been key to maintaining the right headspace during long swims and was paramount to my success. Not only did I reclaim my sense of self and identity as a swimmer – but I have emerged as a channel swimmer. That is everything, and I can’t wait for what is next in my swimming adventures!

And I will leave you with… photos of these super cute and super delicious cookies my mom’s friend Sidney made for the swim! She is so talented and I am obsessed!